Why Men Can't Take Messages

Self Doubt And The Evils Of Comparison

*Disclaimer: This is not my content...and don't know who's it is. I thought it was worth sharing with you.

Pride is one of the vicious beast unleashed when you fall into a state of comparison.

First of all, making any comparison has the inherent falsehood that we know what is “Best”.

How could I know that being the CEO of GOOGLE is “Better” than being a Life Guard at the beach?

To believe that such a comparison is even possible is to believe in an external measuring stick – obviously that is crazy.

The only true measuring stick is happiness.

Unfortunately I can get so focused on missed opportunities that I forget that I was happy.

It’s easy to get pulled into the “White picket fence” story where “Happiness is measured by prestige, pride and accomplishments. But I know that my true happiness comes from following my heart and coming from love.

It would be a huge mistake to start focusing on: “Things” as proof of my joy. It would be totally counterproductive to draw value from my life by counting accomplishments vs. others accomplishments.

Here are a few mental “Tricks” to help get back to sanity.

1) Asking myself; I am happy?
Nothing makes me see the insanity quicker than this question.

It is a special kind of crazy to lose the joy of a moment because you compare it to another option. It’s like having a wonderful meal and becoming focused on the six (6) course dinner that I am missing out on.

Am I not filling my belly? Am I not enjoying the taste? Do I even know that I would LIKE the six (6) course meal? Or that it would even be good for me?

2) Focus n the good things about the choices I *DID* make.
While this is still a comparison mentally, it at least helps snap me back into measuring what is important to me.

It is not the miles covered… it is the direction headed.

3) Looking at lives I admire.
Wealth and power are not even things I value. When I start to want them, it is usually when external voices start creeping in.

Let your choices be inspired by personal truth and away from societal pressures. Let your truth be loud enough that when you walk your walk that people hear and support you.

Your path is one of many many small steps and trips and stumbles should be expected.

A Profound Paragraph

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

~~~~ Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931

Survivor - "Texas" Style

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do a season series entitled, 'Survivor-Texas Style.'

The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San Antonio , over to Houston and down to Brownsville .

They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland , Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo .

From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and finally back to Dallas .

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that reads:
'I'm Gay, I Love the Dixie Chicks, Boycott Beef, OBAMA 08, George Strait Sucks, I'm here to confiscate your gun.'

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins

Giving A Scammer The Runaround

I got this from a friend and thought it was funny as hell.

http://www.collegeiseasy.net/runaround.html

I Hope That You Never Have A JellyFish Bad Day

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.

I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done...In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!

Just In Time For Valentines Day...

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION* *
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME* *
WITH THE _MOST ROMANTIC_ FIRST LINE,* *
AND THE _LEAST ROMANTIC_ SECOND LINE:*


1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?


3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.


4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.



5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.


6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.


7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.


8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!


9. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.


10. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

* *

* *

*
WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?*

How To Install A Home Security System

How to install a home security system

1. Go to the Goodwill Store and buy a pair of men's work boots, size 14-16 (well used).

2. Place them on the front porch along with a copy of Gun and Ammo magazine.

3. Put a couple of BIG dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a handwritten note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba! Big Jim, Duke, Slim and Me went for more ammo....be back in about 1 hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls--they got after the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all the dogs in the house. Just wait outside til we get back.

Cooter

Why "Why?" Is The Most Useless Question In The Universe

(I received this in an e-mail from a friend and thought it was interesting...I don't know where she got it from)

Did you know that:

That "Why?" is the most useless question in the universe.

The only question with any meaning is "What?"

Asking "Why is this happening?" can only take your power from you. Asking "What do I want to make of this?" does exactly the opposite.

Here is a great secret: the Why of anything is to produce the What of everything.

Interesting Viewpoint About Government Costs

"The Proposal"

When a company falls on difficult times, one of the things that seems to happen is they reduce their staff and workers. The remaining workers need to find ways to continue to do a good job or risk that their job would be eliminated as well. Wall street, and the media normally congratulate the CEO for making this type of "tough decision", and his board of directors gives him a big bonus.

Our government should not be immune from similar risks.

Therefore: Reduce the House of Representatives from the current 435 members to 218 members and Senate members from 100 to 50 (one per State). Also reduce remaining staff by 25%.

Accomplish this over the next 8 years. (two steps / two elections) and of course this would require some redistricting.

Some Yearly Monetary Gains Include:

$44,108,400 for elimination of base pay for congress. (267 members X $165,200 pay / member / yr.)

$97,175,000 for elimination of the above people's staff. (estimate $1.3 Million in staff per each member of the House, and $3 Million in staff per each member of the Senate every year)

$240,294 for the reduction in remaining staff by 25%.

$7,500,000,000 reduction in pork barrel ear-marks each year. (those members whose jobs are gone. Current estimates for total government pork earmarks are at $15 Billion / yr)

The remaining representatives would need to work smarter and would need to improve efficiencies. It might even be in their best interests to work together for the good of our country?

We may also expect that smaller committees might lead to a more efficient resolution of issues as well. It might even be easier to keep track of what your representative is doing.

Congress has more tools available to do their jobs than it had back in 1911 when the current number of representatives was established. (telephone, computers, cell phones to name a few)

Note:
Congress did not hesitate to head home when it was a holiday, when the nation needed a real fix to the economic problems. Also, we have 3 senators that have not been doing their jobs for the past 18+ months (on the campaign trail) and still they all have been accepting full pay. These facts alone support a reduction in senators & congress.

Summary of opportunity:

$ 44,108,400 reduction of congress members.

$282,100, 000 for elimination of the reduced house member staff.

$150,000,000 for elimination of reduced senate member staff.

$59,675,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining house members.

$37,500,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining senate members.

$7,500,000,000 reduction in pork added to bills by the reduction of congress members.

$8,073,383,400 per year, estimated total savings. (that's 8-BILLION just to start!)

Big business does these types of cuts all the time.

If Congresspersons were required to serve 20, 25 or 30 years (like everyone else) in order to collect retirement benefits there is no telling how much we would save. Now they get full retirement after serving onlyONE term.

IF you are happy how the Congress spends our taxes, then just delete this message. IF you are NOT at all happy, then I assume you know what to do.

Interesting Image About Obama

Hmmmm...

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi's home district includes San Francisco
Star-Kist Tuna's headquarters are in San Francisco, Pelosi's home district.
Star-Kist is owned by Del Monte Foods and is a major contributor to Pelosi.
Star-Kist is the major employer in American Samoa employing 75% of the Samoan workforce.

Paul Pelosi, Nancy's husband, owns $17 million dollars worth of Star-Kist stock.

In January, 2007 when the minimum wage was increased from $5.15 to $7.25, Pelosi had American Samoa exempted from the increase so Del Monte would not have to pay the higher wage. This would make Del Monte products less expensive than their competition's. Last week when the huge bailout bill was passed, Pelosi added an earmark to the final bill adding $33 million dollars for an 'economic development credit in American Samoa. Pelosi has called the Bush Administration"CORRUPT" ??

How do you spell "HYPOCRISY" ??

EVERY AMERICAN SHOULD GET THIS E-MAIL.

IT IS ENOUGH TO MAKE A PERSON
ANGRY ENOUGH TO GO THROW THEM ALL
OUT ON THEIR BEHINDS

Who Am I?

Who am I?
I was born in one country, raised in another. My father was born in another country. I was not his only child. He fathered several children with numerous women.
I became very close to my mother, as my father showed no interest in me. My mother died at an early age from cancer.

Later in life, questions arose over my real name.

My birth records were sketchy and no one was able to produce a legitimate, reliable birth certificate.

I grew up practicing one faith but converted to Christianity, as it was widely accepted in my country, but I practiced non-traditional beliefs & didn't follow Christianity, except in the public eye under scrutiny.

I worked and lived among lower-class people as a young adult, disguising myself as someone who really cared about them.

That was before I decided it was time to get serious about my life and I embarked on a new career.

I wrote a book about my struggles growing up. It was clear to those who read my memoirs that I had difficulties accepting that my father abandoned me as a child.

I became active in local politics in my 30's then with help behind the scenes, I literally burst onto the scene as a candidate for national office in my 40s. They said I had a golden tongue and could talk anyone into anything. That reinforced my conceit.

I had a virtually non-existent resume, little work history, and no experience in leading a single organization. Yet I was a powerful speaker and citizens were drawn to me as though I were a magnet and they were small roofing tacks.

I drew incredibly large crowds during my public appearances. This bolstered my ego.

At first, my political campaign focused on my country's foreign policy. I was very critical of my country in the last war and seized every opportunity to bash my country.

But what launched my rise to national prominence were my views on the country's economy. I pretended to have a really good plan on how we could do better and every poor person would be fed & housed for free.

I knew which group was responsible for getting us into this mess. It was the free market, banks & corporations. I decided to start making citizens hate them and if they were envious of others who did well, the plan was clinched tight.

I called mine "A People's Campaign" and that sounded good to all people.

I was the surprise candidate because I emerged from outside the traditional path of politics & was able to gain widespread popular support.

I knew that, if I merely offered the people 'hope' , together we could change our country and the world.

So, I started to make my speeches sound like they were on behalf of the downtrodden, poor, ignorant to include "persecuted minorities" like the Jews. My true views were not widely known & I needed to keep them unknown, until after I became my nation's leader.

I had to carefully guard reality, as anybody could have easily found out what I really believed, if they had simply read my writings and examined those people I associated with.

I'm glad they didn't. Then I became the most powerful man in the world. And the world learned the truth.

Who am I? .........



...............



...............





................





ADOLF HITLER.



WHO WERE YOU THINKING OF?

Hmmm...

Stimulus Payment Information

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America.

You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), funerals, weddings, or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

If You Want To Drive High Quality Traffic To Your Site...Don't Use Reddit

Here are some interesting observations from where traffic comes to a high quality website on the web. Notice the difference in "stickiness" between all of the different mediums. Most users have been sent to a blog post.

Be sure to keep all of this in mind as you map out your content marketing campaigns.

The Funniest Facebook CAPTCHA I Have Ever Seen!

Before I posted my link, this CAPTCHA came up.

If You're Single And Want To Find Someone Rich, Don't Use Match.com!

I guess that if you really want to find a rich person on a dating site...you have a "better chance" using Plenty Of Fish compared to Match.com or E-Harmony

The passage below has been taken from Markus Frind's Blog CEO of PlentyOfFish.com

One of the hardest parts about growing plentyoffish is that it doesn’t really appeal that much to lower income users or younger users.

Hitwise demographic stats for 4 weeks ending 2/7/2009
12.36% of singlesnet users are under 25
10.15% of match.com users are under 25
9.65% of Plentyoffish users are under 25
7.28% of downtoearth users are under 25.

Hitwise income statistics for 4 weeks ending 2/7/2009.
4.11% of singlesnet users make over $150,000 a year.
5.05% of match.com users make over $150,000 a year.
6.23% of eharmony users make over $150,000 a year
12.37% of Plentyoffish users make over $150,000 a year.

The recession in the US seems to be growing Paid dating sites in the US fairly quickly but isn’t really having a major of an impact on my sites growth. We will still grow at least 80% organically this year but I don’t think all that much is because of the recession. The problem being is that most of my users are higher income and aren’t really effected by the current economic problems. If you were me how would you market plentyoffish to take advantage of the current economic times ?

And That's My... (Warning Adult Content) You Have Been Warned

Sad News About The Pillsbury Doughboy...

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flakey at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift.

The 10 Internet Tools and Websites That I Can't Live Without

1. Firefox

We all need a way to find our way around this crazy place!

2. Delicious

When you come across an interesting site that you know you want to reference later, Delicious is your answer. Download the toolbar into your Firefox browser and you are good to go.

3. StumbleUpon

Want to find really cool content pertaining to your interest? StumbleUpon is the answer! The ultimate Internet Bordem Buster in my book. Finding cool sites has become that much easier.

4. Facebook

Duh!

5. Twitter

The best way to engage with your following in the most transparent way possible! Share great stuff, and participate in the conversation on a one-one and one to many basis! It doesn't get any better than that!

6. Google Reader

Do you like reading blogs but don't want to have to go to every blog every day? Google reader is the answer! Set up your google reader and then when going to your favorite blogs sign up for the RSS feed by clicking the little RSS icon on the blog. It will automatically redirect you to your google reader and you accept. Presto...now the content is sent to you on demand, and now you further have the freedom to go through it when you are ready.

7. Google Sites

By far one of the best wiki platforms that I know and love to use. It is easy to set up and easy to manage. Don't take my word for it! Go and try it out!

8. Google Analytics

Come on! We all need to know the behavior of the traffic on our website! Google analytics is your answer to all of those probing questions like (What is the average amount of time each visitor spends on my website? or What is my websites bounce rate?) Set up your account and put the little code on your website! After that let the data roll in!

9. Mind Meister

Do you like putting your ideas into mind maps? Well Mind Meister has one of the best free platforms that I know of to put your ideas down on "internet paper" with a very simple and easy to use interface.

10. Get-Response

To help me store and manage all of my e-mails lists, I use Get-Response. It is not the most high tech autoresponder, but it works for me and gets the job done!

What are your favorite tools?